that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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