Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
