we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
