I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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