its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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