At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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