you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When did angry sex become our thing?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
