I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize