I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
