Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
