Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
