is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Pooping to opera.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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