good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
