You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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