I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
