my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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