...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
