Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm having to shit out rocks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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