spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
