you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
