lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
