i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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