Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
