after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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