wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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