She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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