I accidentally had phone sex last night
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize