My room smells like vodka and shame
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
