Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
