Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
