Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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