i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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