ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
