So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Even my vagina gasped.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
