His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
