What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
