i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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