She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
