If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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