he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
