i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
