I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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