It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
