Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
