zippers are such a cool invention
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
