my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
