nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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