you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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