i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
