You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
