have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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