i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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