i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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