so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
