Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
