at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
