its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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