i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize