You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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