Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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